(I’m not a girl, and praise God for that. I can’t accessorize, I’m not very wise, and I like to fart… A lot. Luckily, for me, my good friend Jessie is a girl. She likes to keep me apprised of things that I’m too dumb to take note of. If I had a dollar for every wise thing she’s told me about life, I’d have about seven bucks… But hey, who’s counting? So enjoy what she has to say to you today. I know I did. – Sean)
The other day, I was rocking out to my favorite iTunes playlist (The Jonas Brothers! The Lion King! High School Musical! Hannah Montana!), when this massive, debilitating epiphany hit me like a bag full of bricks. I made an important connection in my brain and I felt obligated to share it with all of you. As much as it pains me to say this, Disney has been lying to us for all these years (*sniff*). Age, wisdom, and Google have all revealed and verified this terrible tragedy. Here are a few examples to explain what I mean:
- I’ll give the guys a break here and say that Disney has falsely taught you that there’s only one successful method for attracting women: be rich, charming, famous, and good-looking (with the exception of The Beast who was rich and famous with the promise of charm and good looks to come later). We girls complain that there’s no such thing as a Prince Charming that’s going to ride in on his valiant steed to sweep us up and carry us off into the sunset. Well DUH!!! Who in their right mind would really agree to marry a man that just came riding in on a horse (or elephant) and claimed that he’d loved you since the first moment he laid eyes on you (literally, two minutes prior to that)? Not me. Not these days with sex offenders and Spencer Pratts running rampant in the streets… (Sorry, I got a little carried away there.)
- Life doesn’t always have a happy ending. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten myself locked in a tower or had my voice stolen by an evil octopus, but no matter how long I waited or how frantically I signaled, did a strong, sensitive, muscular man come and save me? No. Same principle applies with everyday life. Finances crumble, families deteriorate, and loved ones can be lost in the blink of an eye. Where’s your happy ending?
- Hannah Montana was a liar when she said that you could have “The Best of Both Worlds”. It’s just not possible. (And here’s where I tie all of this Disney rambling into the biblical truth and the purpose of this whole blog):
There are a lot of Christians out there (myself included, at times) who feel as if they can wear the label of “Christian” while still living in and enjoying the ways of the world. This is a lie that comes straight from the mouth of Satan. God never wanted us to be these flaky, wishy-washy, lukewarm Christians. He even says in Revelations 3:16 that “because we are neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Did you hear that? When we think we know best and when we actually feel torn between choosing our pitiful, worthless, worldly riches over God’s wonderful promise of everlasting life, it makes Him GAG and he wants nothing to do with us! And honestly, I don’t blame him.
We need to learn a lesson from the Israelites in Psalm 106. After everything God had done for them (promised an everlasting covenant and a land to call their own, delivered them from captivity in Egypt, and provided them with freaking manna!), they still grumbled and complained and eventually turned their backs, forgot about their Deliverer, and began worshipping false idols. So God tried knocking some sense into them by turning them over to their foes and allowing their enemies to oppress them. Of course it worked (God is ALWAYS right) and the Israelites cried out for His deliverance (again). Yet, because of His great love, He still heard their pitiful cries of distress and He relented and gave them another chance.
The truth is, you CAN’T have the best of both worlds. God has given us a clear choice: live in the ways of this fallen and sinful world (and spend eternity in Hell as a result of your decision), or choose to accept his free gift of salvation provided by the blood and sacrifice of His only son, Jesus Christ (and spend an eternity in Heaven living with and glorifying Him). So where, in our twisted human minds, did we ever start to think that we could have it both ways? Why do we think we can call ourselves Christians and yet still live according to the corrupt cultural standards provided by this world? Personally, I don’t want to fall into the middle of the lukewarm pack. I want to be hot and on fire for God and, in the words of Hannah Montana: “Nobody’s Perfect”, but “It’s All Right Here”. I “Don’t Wanna Be Torn”. I want “Every Part of Me” to mirror the life of the One who’s “Bigger Than Us”. ZING!!