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In case you haven’t noticed by now, me and the concept of retail business just don’t see eye to eye. Maybe it’s the soccer moms with soccer kids that take up the entire aisle to shop, maybe I don’t like the idea that a lot of things are out of my reach. Nevertheless, sometimes I get annoyed when I step into a retail store. Luckily, my resulting idiocy creates humorous situations that translate into a mediocre blog… So let the writing commence:

One particular morning, I had to run a work errand to Office Depot to pick up a life size poster of myself so that my manager could hang it at his workstation…

Okay, that’s not what happened. Let’s try this again:

One particular morning, I had to run a work errand to Office Depot to pick up… miscellaneous supplies (That better?). Let’s focus on the word “morning” for a second. I despise mornings with a burning, endearing passion (Note to my early morning readers, God bless you, because I certainly can’t do it). I imagine mornings as the bad guy that the Power Rangers couldn’t destroy. The evil that cannot be tamed (Much like Oprah Winfrey). So when I was told that I had to interact with strangers so I could get “the goods,” I was annoyed. After all, I had been awake all of 17 minutes. How dare they expect me to do my job?

Anyways, I went through and picked up what I needed and proceeded to the check-out line. Actually, I had a small detour as I pretended to be a CEO in the office furniture section, much like I used to do when I was a child… Last month. EVENTUALLY, I made my way to the check-out counter. The cashier, and her manager were standing there shooting the breeze (none of it I could understand as I don’t speak “Good Morning”).

Here is the point where the story gets interesting. These are literally the first two people I’ve had to communicate with, other than the people that pay me to be nice. These are the people that I can minister to. Here’s how the conversation went:

As the manager is observing the entire situation…

Cashier: Hi. How are you?

Me: Good.

Cashier: Is this all you need today?

Me: Yep.

Cashier: Here is your total… Do you have a rewards card?

Me: Uggh (Because “uggh” is a word). No.

Cashier: Would you like a rewards card today?

If I had’ve stepped away to think outwardly, I would have realized that she’s probably forced to ask that question approximately 320,000 times a day (roughly), and is probably used to getting snappy responses. Instead of doing the right thing, here’s what I said:

Me: No… Honestly, I can’t give you a creative excuse as to why I don’t want one… I just don’t want one.

Obviously, that wasn’t the best thing to say, considering the level of humor was low, and the level of intent to hurt was high. The manager laughed, but the cashier did not.

Today, I’m ending this entry with a question. Tell me, how wrong was I? Should I have apologized? Should I have smiled and said no thank you? Should I have signed up for the rewards?

  • What would the appropriate response have been?
  • What response would you have given?

Leave a comment, let me know (we live off comments).