“I have decided to follow Jesus; I have decided to follow Jesus; I have decided to follow Jesus; No turning back, no….turning… Uh-oh.” We’ve all had those moments when we realize we shouldn’t have had those three cups of coffee with the Dr. Pepper chaser. It’s rather amazing how our ability to “wait on the Lord” is so quickly hindered by what some may confuse with a charismatic worship dance, but in all actuality you just reverted to your former three year old self who would tell their mom you have to go “wee wee”. To add on top the worship leader is feeling lead to sing twelve versions of the song, and it appears at that very moment God decided to start the next Great Revival and people are flowing down the aisle like it’s a river. Wait flow? River? Quick, stop thinking about water or you’ll become the poster child for Depends. You’ve got to be kidding? Of all the days today the pastor decides its time to geometrically explain the Trinity he has to do it now? Ok good, the deacon is coming to pray…wait no, not that deacon. That man is like the relief pitcher for Jesus. I mean that deacon knew Paul personally. His theory has to be with increased age so should your prayers length. I wonder if Paul or the Apostles ever had this problem. I mean it gets hot out there in the desert and you’re supposed to be drinking water. I mean I doubt Jesus every let His boys go thirsty (there is a message concept in there somewhere). Eventually they would have to make a pit stop at the local palm tree. Oh, come on! The missionaries have to report today about how God miraculously rescued them from those rebels blah blah blah. I bet God let them have a bathroom break. O please, please don’t start crying. Not tears and water and I think I’m going to wet myself. Thank goodness, finally the announcements. Wait, stop talking about the fun day at the water park. Can’t you see I’m in agony here?